Ten Meaningful Ways to Honor the Memory of Your Loved One
When we lose someone we love, one of our biggest fears is that they will be forgotten. One way we can counteract this fear is to find ways to memorialize our loved ones. I’ve come up with ten meaningful ideas to help you accomplish this. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, but there are lots of good ideas here and ones you may not have thought of. Feel free to use these and change them up to make them personal to you and the person you’ve lost. When we think of memorials, we often envision something grand, such as a statue in a park, but this can be as small and personal as you’d like it to be. If you’re up to it, I’d love to hear what you’ve done to honor the memory of someone you love.
Create a playlist
Our memories are so often tied to music. Creating a playlist of your loved one’s favorite songs, or songs that remind you of memories with them, or songs that evoke thoughts of them, can be a truly healing way to remember. You can do this privately, or you can ask a group to collaborate and then share the finished compiled song list with them.
Create a memory book
This can take many forms. You could get a journal specifically to write down memories and thoughts about your person, and then return to it when you remember something new or when you want to be immersed in those memories. You could make a photo scrapbook either physically or digitally.
One of my favorite new ways to create a memory book is through LifeBooks. It’s a new company that allows you to create collaborative memory books. You sign up to create a book, and then you can send a link to as many collaborators as you'd like. You can upload photos, writing, and even videos to the book — the videos will appear as a QR code in the printed book. And then, when the book is published, anyone who wants a copy of the book can order their own. The books are bound to last and made of high-quality paper and materials. I’ve partnered with LifeBooks because I believe it’s a beautiful way to ensure those memories are preserved. If you’re interested, click HERE to check them out.
Create a living memorial
This could involve planting a tree or a plant that holds special meaning or was a favorite of your loved one. For example, my dog Stiggy passed away a year ago, and we are planting an apple tree in our backyard in his memory, as he loved to eat apples as a treat.
Make a donation
Consider donating to an organization or cause that was meaningful to your loved one. You could also donate to an organization that has to do with the way your loved one died, like the Alzheimer’s Association or the American Cancer Society. Other ideas include creating an ongoing scholarship fund or donating a physical item, such as a bench, to a favorite place.
Create or commission memorial artwork
Art can be a meaningful way to express our emotions, and this is very true of grief. You can create an art project in whatever medium you work in. It doesn’t have to be a portrait or a sculpture per se. It could be something that your person loved or just how they made you feel. If you’re not artistically inclined, you can commission an artist to create something for you. This sounds fancy and expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. You can find artists on Etsy and other platforms who specialize in memorial work like this. If you enjoy tattoos, you can see numerous examples of people using this art to memorialize their loved ones. Just be sure to take the time to decide that you really want to do this, and that the art is something you truly love, before committing, since it’s much harder to undo a tattoo than it is to remove a painting from the wall that you’re not so keen on.
Plan a memorial service or gathering.
Sometimes funerals can feel a little impersonal, or the family puts them on and perhaps don’t reflect the way you knew your loved one. You can plan your own memorial service with a chosen group of people. For example, if you had a college friend die, you can plan a get-together with your old college friend group to share memories and emotions. It doesn’t have to be a big, formal thing. But sharing memories and stories can be very healing.
If you are looking for a bigger tribute, planning a memorial program or concert can be a beautiful way to gather people. You could even do this down the road or make it an annual event.
Create a memorial experience
There are several ways to do this. You could host a dinner where everyone brings a favorite recipe, a favorite food, or a food that reminds them of your loved one. You can eat together and share memories. You could take a trip to your loved one’s favorite place and do their favorite activities. You could learn a new hobby, language, instrument, or skill that was a favorite of your loved one to honor them, find a way to be close to them, or carry on their legacy.
Plan a volunteer day
If your loved one was passionate about a cause, plan a volunteer day around that cause. You could do this yourself or organize it as a group effort. This could involve participating in a walk or run for a cause that is important to them or has impacted their life. Alternatively, it could involve organizing a food drive and donating to the local food bank in their name, participating in a river cleanup, or dedicating a year of volunteering with a specific organization in their honor. There are lots of ways to be creative here.
Make a creative keepsake
Find a way to creatively use things that belonged to the person you’ve lost. Turn their handwriting into a necklace or a sign. Compile handwritten recipes into a book. Create a quilt, pillow, or teddy bear from their clothing. If you’re not crafty, you can find people who have businesses specializing in these types of things. Again, Etsy is a great place to start looking.
Quiet personal ideas
If you’re looking for a subtle way to remember your loved one without drawing attention to it, consider writing them a letter or a poem that’s for your eyes only. You could incorporate their perfume or cologne into your life. You could do the same with a color, either a favorite of theirs or a color that reminds you of them. You can wear a piece of jewelry that was either theirs or reminds you of them in a symbolic way.
There are many ways to keep your loved one’s memory present in your daily life. There’s no right or wrong way to remember, but take the time to find what feels right for you. Knowing you are keeping their memory close and not letting them be forgotten can be very healing.
